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16 November 2009 @ 01:18 pm
Dating Non-Musicians (non-your major)  
Hi again! Didn't know where else to post this, so I decided this was probably an ok place. Please remove if it is too off-topic.

So I've been having an on-again off-again with this woman. The biggest reason for me doubting that the relationship will work is because she isn't a musician. I realize this sounds shallow, but it is difficult to try to fit those two different worlds together. She understands and enjoys music, but she is no longer seriously involved in practicing and performing it, so we don't know any of the same people. Her social anxiety (accompanied by migraines) turn her into this much more withdrawn person, so whenever I try to introduce her to other important people in my life, I partially feel like I'm introducing a stranger because she's so open and outgoing with me.

What are your guys' thoughts on this? Do you have any similar experiences that you think would be enlightening? Thanks.
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on November 26th, 2009 07:20 am (UTC)
Oh boy, I feel bad for her. Because I feel as if I am like that too. Well I was more in the past, I kinda force myself now to speak up and stop being like that around "new" people. I tend to "zone" out though, and be kinda in a "twilight zone". I derealize/depersonalize myself from myself.

I actually dated a singer as well and I know how important it is for the girl to understand the importance of music. I didn't that much but my other qualities filled that spot in somehow.

Focus on her positive traits. Maybe even talk to her about it, just be honest BUT use your words very carefully!

Keep an update :)
tpsinger on January 30th, 2010 12:55 pm (UTC)

Hey, I know how you feel.
My ex gave up on music and our already-distant worlds became ever more distant (he is also a sportsman).
We broke up.
Honestly, I couldn't date a non-musician because I have this personality issue (I become different people depending on what kind of person i'm with).
but i might try again in the near future :)
Keep trying though <3 you can do it