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29 October 2009 @ 11:46 pm
Newbie post  
Hi. I'm a musician with clinical depression and social anxiety disorder. I've also recently been diagnosed with audio hypersensitivity, but I'm cynical about it. I considered myself a lesbian, but then was in a long-term relationship with a girl who happened to have a penis, so now I sort of identify as genderqueer because I don't feel that attached to my gender, and don't feel comfortable with people treating me differently just because of my genitalia. These are the most pressing issues in terms of my current "identity" or at least how I perceive myself at present.

I wrote an absolutely terrible song in a short amount of time, just trying to get the demons out so I can get back to being a student. This is why you shouldn't forget to take your meds, even for a day.
I just want to die, just leave the noise behind
The world's too crowded now, won't pay my absence any mind
To those I've loved and left, I'm sorry if I've hurt you so,
the weight of consciousness can be so much you know.
If I had the strength to make that final blow,
it'd rise above the deafening noise, bring peace I'll never know.
So laugh at these cliches, and pay my pleas no mind,
when a person dies, there is nothing left behind.
I'm sorry if that made your eyes/ears bleed. That has to be some of the cheesiest shit ever spewed forth from my mind.
magnusbucephalus on November 2nd, 2009 03:04 am (UTC)
hi and welcome. societal anxiety disorder...hmmmm. i've the ability to learn just about anything i put my mind to but have absolutely no social skills and no desire to attain them. my partner is a fit of pique called me an idiot savant....there was silence as i have a feeling the concept's crossed both our minds on occasion. c'est la guerre.

no, it didn't make my ears/eyes bleed but it did make me wonder about your less ghastly lyrics are like, as you've obviously got song-writing ability.

laura_114laura_114 on November 3rd, 2009 01:13 pm (UTC)
Your song is absolutely NOT terrible (in my opinion.) It describes the way I've felt many times. As a matter of fact, your song could have been playing in my ear the time I attempted suicide almost a year ago.
It's terrible feeling like that, but I hope you won't try something like I did. It hurts the people who love you more tha words can describe. Message me if you ever want to talk.
the5ws on November 16th, 2009 06:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks for your kind words. Thanks to good meds and a great shrink I'm back on my feet.